Announcing an unexpected pregnancy can create anxiety and fear that feel overwhelming. You are probably worried about the reactions of your parents, partner, and other loved ones.

If you have a complicated relationship with these people or they tend to overreact, this conversation may feel even scarier.

As you prepare to tell your loved ones about your unplanned pregnancy, here are some tips to create a more positive and productive conversation.

Tips for announcing an unexpected pregnancy

1. Process your own feelings first

A pregnancy is a life-changing experience, whether the pregnancy is wanted or not. You likely feel anxious, afraid, angry, and overwhelmed. You may even feel excited or hopeful about the pregnancy.

No matter what you feel, know that your emotions are valid. It’s okay to feel the way you do. There are no “right” emotions when you learn about a surprise pregnancy.

Your feelings are most important in this situation, but they aren’t the only ones that matter. Your partner, parents, and other loved ones will also have an emotional reaction. It’s important to prepare for these reactions, which may be positive or negative, before having this conversation.

Processing your feelings first will help you handle these outside emotions with minimal distress. If you approach the conversation with heightened feelings, you may lose control over them when faced with strong reactions.

You can process your emotions by:

  • Journaling
  • Speaking with a counselor
  • Talking with a trusted friend

Most importantly, take your time. Don’t rush the process. When you’re able to name your feelings and understand where they’re coming from, you can approach the conversation more calmly.

2. Tell someone you trust to support you first

Telling your partner and parents are the two hardest conversations to have. To prepare, it can help to tell a trusted friend or mentor first. 

This discussion will help you practice for the more important conversations. You can decide which approach will be most effective and how to phrase the news. 

Confiding in your loved one will also ensure that you have someone in your corner.

They can offer the support you need to process your pregnancy. They can stand with you as you determine the right choice for your pregnancy. 

Tell someone you trust to support you first

3. Determine what you want for your pregnancy

Many of your loved ones will have their own opinion about what you should do. Some may try to pressure you into a specific choice. 

No matter who it is or what they say, you are the only one who can make this decision. 

Before telling others about your pregnancy, take some time to understand what you want. Don’t worry about what you “should” do or what your fears say is best. 

If you could make a wish to remove all obstacles and achieve a specific future for your pregnancy, what would it be?

Even if it seems impossible, you can achieve the future you want. 

But first, it can help to know what options are available to you. 

At Thrive Orlando, we offer information and resources for all of your pregnancy options. We’ll help you find solutions for the challenges you face. You can also get information about the gestational age and viability of your pregnancy to further clarify your options. 

4. Remember you’re in control

When you tell others about your pregnancy, you are the one in control of the discussion. You can’t choose how they respond, but you can create an atmosphere that encourages a more constructive conversation.

Some of the factors that may help include:

  • Location – Choose a place that is private and offers a calming atmosphere. You may feel most comfortable having this discussion at home. If you select a neutral space, make sure it’s a spot that allows everyone to openly and authentically share their reactions. When people feel like they can’t share their true feelings, it may prompt a more negative reaction.
  • Timing – Make sure you have enough time to share your news and process it with your loved ones. If anyone feels pressure to leave at a specific time, they may feel more stressed and react poorly.
  • Circumstances – It’s okay to tell your parents before your partner, or vice versa. You can tell your parents individually, especially if you expect one of them to have a negative or overblown reaction. It might be best to have a trusted friend with you when sharing your pregnancy. You know what’s best and it’s okay to honor those needs.
Remember you’re in control

The bottom line is you have control over this conversation.

You can leave if the situation becomes unsafe or unproductive. Depending on the circumstances, you can even ask a counselor to help you share the news and guide the discussion.

Some people may need extra time to process your pregnancy, but that shouldn’t change what you want for your pregnancy and future.

You can be confident in your choice, no matter how other people react.

Learn about your surprise pregnancy options at Thrive Orlando

We want you to know that sharing the news of your pregnancy can bring relief and help you feel supported. Even if it doesn’t go the way you hoped, your loved ones may just need some time to process the situation.

Most importantly, no matter the outcome, you are not alone in your pregnancy. There is a large community waiting to help women in your situation. You can find support here.

At our clinic, we’ll inform you about all of your options, including abortion, adoption, and parenting. You’ll receive resources and info about local organizations that can help support you.

You’ll also find compassionate, professional support from our patient advocates and nurses. We’re here for you.

Make an appointment to confirm your pregnancy and discover your options today.

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