It’s completely normal to wonder: “How should I feel about my unplanned pregnancy?”
At the same time, there’s no “normal” when it comes to your feelings. Everyone reacts differently to a positive pregnancy test. Whether your emotions are positive, negative, or a jumbled mess, they are valid.
There isn’t a right or wrong, but there are a few emotions that many women experience when learning about their pregnancy. In this blog, we’ll explore these emotions and give you tips for understanding your reactions.
5 feelings you may have about your unexpected pregnancy
1. Fear
Fear is the most common emotion. You might be afraid of what this means for the future and how it will affect your relationships. Perhaps you’re worried about other people’s reactions. You could be afraid that you aren’t strong enough to handle this pregnancy.
This reaction is often focused on unknowns. You don’t know how your parents or boyfriend will react. You don’t know if you can get health coverage. You don’t know if you’ll regret your decision to have an abortion or keep the pregnancy.
You can’t magically see what the future holds, but you can prepare for the situations and decisions you might face. In doing so, you will soothe your fears and gain confidence in your ability to face the unknowns.
Information is the best place to start. Get information about all of your pregnancy options. Take the time to think through your challenges and potential solutions. Talk about your pregnancy and feelings with a counselor or someone you trust.
Gather the tools and support you need to prepare for what’s ahead.
2. Regret
There are many ways that regret plays a part in an unplanned pregnancy.
You may regret getting pregnant or the actions that led to it, such as drinking, careless sex, or forgetting your birth control.
You could regret who you got pregnant with.
You may regret getting pregnant now when you planned to have kids later.
It’s natural to mourn what you’ve lost, but don’t let the circumstances of your pregnancy dictate your future. You can’t change what happened, but you can control what happens now.
Even if you got pregnant with a casual hookup, there are ways to make decisions together. If you got pregnant after being raped or you’re in an abusive relationship, get help from a domestic violence or sexual assault hotline.
You may not be proud of the decisions you made before getting pregnant, but blaming yourself will only make it harder to heal. What you do will never define your worth.
Above all, make sure the decision you make about pregnancy won’t be another regret. You have control over the choice you make now. And that’s a reason to look forward with hope.
3. Anger
Anger is often a defensive emotion. You may feel frustrated, disappointed, or made helpless by your circumstances.
This anger could also focus on someone specific. Your partner may have lied about wearing protection. You may have been assaulted. You may be angry with yourself for the decisions you made that led to the pregnancy.
Or you might just be mad at the world.
Listen to your anger and try to understand why you are mad. An emotion wheel can be helpful here. Use relaxation techniques to work through your anger rather than lashing out in it. Honor the anger you feel but don’t let it color the rest of your life with negativity.
4. Anxiety
There are a lot of unknowns in an unplanned pregnancy. Many women feel anxious when they think about all the ways their pregnancies change their plans.
Thankfully, like fear, knowledge is the best way to ease anxiety. The first step is to learn about all of your options so you can make a plan. Information helps you anticipate and control what comes next, decreasing your stress.
Next, build a loving support system. When you know who you can lean on and what your next steps are, you’ll have fewer unknowns to be anxious about.
5. Depression
Many women feel depressed after learning of an unexpected pregnancy. You may feel isolated, that your dreams have died, or uncertain about the future of your relationship.
Difficult situations increase stress hormones and decrease happiness hormones as well. That means your body may experience sadness on both physical and emotional levels.
If you think you may be depressed, talking through your depression can help.
Connecting with a doctor or mental health professional can help you get the help you need. Meet with someone you trust to talk about your situation, fears, and sorrows. You can also call the mental health hotline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Find support at Thrive Orlando
No matter how you’re feeling about your unexpected pregnancy, we can help.
During your no-cost visit, you’ll hear about all of the options available to you. You can ask questions, explore your challenges, and learn more about other helpful organizations in the area.
Additionally, our services include free:
- Pregnancy tests
- Ultrasounds
- STI testing and treatment
You deserve care that makes you feel confident and happy about your decision. Make an appointment to learn about your options and resources today.