An unexpected pregnancy may feel like your darkest secret from the moment you see the positive result on the pregnancy test. As you consider what choice to make, it’s easy to feel anxious and completely alone.
Maybe you’re afraid that sharing this news will disappoint your parents or that they will respond with anger. You might be afraid that your friends will reject you or judge you for getting pregnant. What if your partner decides that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore?
These are all valid fears. But fears aren’t facts. You can never know how another person will react until you give them the chance to respond. More importantly, sharing this news usually goes better than you think it will.
In this blog, we’ll share tips for choosing who you share your pregnancy with and how best to tell them. Telling others is a risk but gaining a support system—through your loved ones or others—is well worth it.
Should I tell other people about my unexpected pregnancy?
If you decide to share the news of your pregnancy, pick someone you can trust to have your back. It’s also important to choose someone who won’t try to pressure you into making a specific choice. This blog only offers suggestions for who to tell, but they may be a good place to start.
1. Your partner
You didn’t get pregnant by yourself. Your partner has responsibilities in this situation too. More importantly, he may be the person who is best positioned to help you with your pregnancy. He doesn’t have the right to make this decision for you, but his opinion does matter.
After confirming your pregnancy, schedule a time to meet and share the news. If you are afraid of your partner’s reaction, bring a friend or choose a public location for the meeting.
Talking honestly about the situation and how you feel is the most important part of this conversation. Too often, our patients share that they were afraid to tell their partner what choice they really wanted to make. And men often tell women “I support whatever you choose” rather than sharing their true feelings. Assumptions and miscommunication can lead to heartache and regret.
Be open about your fears, hopes, and desires so you can make the right decision together. This isn’t the end of your relationship but the start of a new chapter.
2. Your parents
If you don’t have a good relationship with your parents, a parent figure or mentor fits this category too.
Parents want the best for their children. They hope for a life of ease and success on whatever path they take. But for their kids, these hopes often feel more like pressure. Since an unplanned pregnancy isn’t in your plans, you may worry that the news will disappoint your parents. You might also fear that they will lose respect for you or become angry.
Your parents may not react positively to the news at first, but that doesn’t mean your fears are coming true. Your parents love you. Once they come to terms with the news, you may find that they are your biggest supporters and are ready to help with whatever you need.
But don’t forget that this is your life and pregnancy. If your parents are pressuring you to make a certain choice, it’s okay to set boundaries. Take their opinion into consideration but make the decision you want to make. You can respect and love your parents while doing what’s right for you.
3. Your close friends
Friends are often the people who do life with you and understand you in ways that no one else can. When faced with a big decision, such as what choice to make about your pregnancy, your friends may offer the support you need.
Before sharing your news, make sure your friend is trustworthy. Don’t confide in someone who will tell others about your pregnancy. Choose a friend you can be vulnerable and honest with. Most importantly, turn to someone who has your back and won’t force their opinion on you.
The right friend will listen to your fears, struggles, and hopes without judgment. They will help you explore different options and find helpful resources. Above all, a true friend will stick by your side through the entire journey, no matter what choice you make.
You are never alone
We hope that you are surrounded by people who will love and carry you through your pregnancy journey. But even if you don’t have a support system, you can find help and a listening ear at Thrive Orlando.
During your appointment, a Patient Advocate will help you learn about and think through your options. You’ll be empowered to make an informed decision, and we’ll walk with you through this process.
You deserve to be loved and supported as you decide what you want to do next. Find confidence and peace of mind with a free appointment at Thrive Orlando.