Do unplanned pregnancies ruin relationships? Will this pregnancy ruin my relationship?

It’s a fear that every woman who has found herself unexpectedly pregnant faces. Relationships are hard enough when things go as planned. How will you survive this curveball? 

Thankfully, there’s good news. An unintended pregnancy is a challenge, but every couple can overcome it if they choose to. If you and your partner are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, here are some tips for navigating this situation.

Do unplanned pregnancies ruin relationships?

No, unplanned pregnancies don’t ruin relationships. But, like any major life change, they can reveal the cracks that already exist in your relationship. If you or your partner don’t have the desire to work past the challenge, your relationship might not survive.

Consider other major life stressors, such as serious illnesses, family issues, deaths, and financial problems. All of these events can put a lot of strain on you and your partner. If either of you are unable or unwilling to work through the challenge together, your relationship won’t last.


A woman sits holding a pregnancy while her partner sits in the background
Coping with an unplanned pregnancy isn’t always easy, but it can bring you closer to your partner. As long as you are honest about what you want and what you are feeling, you can get over this unexpected hurdle.

3 ways to overcome relationship problems from an unplanned pregnancy

1. Include your partner in your appointments and decisions

A couple watches their pregnancy ultrasound as the sonographer looks on

One of the most important things to remember is that this pregnancy doesn’t just affect you. Your partner was involved in making the pregnancy. He should also be involved in every other part of the process.

And that means more than just paying for your medical care or abortion appointment. 

Encourage your partner to learn about your pregnancy and options. Research pregnancy together. Share what you are feeling both physically and emotionally.

You can also bring your partner to your medical appointments.

If you visit a clinic such as Thrive Orlando, for instance, he can join you for the ultrasound. You can both ask questions about the scan and your pregnancy. You’ll also get resources for further education.

Most importantly, you can both learn about the options that are available for your pregnancy. No matter your circumstances, there are always multiple choices you can make. Each has its pros and cons. All of these options will affect you both.

By learning about your options together, you can stay on the same page when making your decision. Even if you disagree, this common ground will allow you to discuss all of the factors involved with your choice. Hopefully, you can agree on your decision. If not, you will know where you both stand and why.

Sometimes, your partner may not want to continue the relationship if you can’t agree. In this case, we encourage you to seek an outside opinion. Speak with someone who will offer loving, unbiased advice. Explain what you’ve chosen and why. This conversation can help clarify whether it’s the right decision or if you and your partner need more time to consider your options.

If he says he’ll only stay if you change your mind, however, it may be time to rethink your relationship. This isn’t a decision you should make to please someone else. Doing so will only lead to lifelong regret.

2. Share your expectations

Communication is key in any relationship. With a pregnancy thrown into the mix, it’s even more important.

Sadly, miscommunication about expectations is one of the main reasons that a relationship might end because of an unexpected pregnancy.

Many men assume that women want to make the decision alone. They often say “I’ll support whatever you choose” because they believe a blanket statement of support, not input, is what their partners need.

For most women, however, this attitude is anything but helpful. They often think that their partners don’t want to be bothered by the pregnancy or any decisions. Many women end up getting abortions, even when they don’t want one, because they assume their partners aren’t interested in continuing the pregnancy.

From the moment you confirm your pregnancy, be honest about your expectations for your partner. Ask what he thinks and feels about the pregnancy. What does he want his role to be? What does he expect from you?

Having honest conversations will help you build and maintain a healthy relationship.

3. Ask for help when you need it

Every couple experiences rough patches, especially with a big change like a surprise pregnancy. It’s okay to seek relationship help from a mentor or counselor when you need it.

This outside help can offer guidance and support for your challenge. It can also help you understand what choice you want to make for your pregnancy.

Plus, you can find resources to help with other needs, such as financial support, supplies, and more. Never be afraid to ask for help.

A couple holds hands at a counseling session

Learn about your pregnancy options at Thrive Orlando

If you have just discovered you’re pregnant, you need information about your health and options. Thrive Orlando offers free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds to confirm your pregnancy and health.

You can also speak with a Patient Advocate about your questions, options, and concerns. And your partner is welcome to come too!

Make your free appointment today.

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